hmmmm…

so here it be wednesday…and here i be having jigged wensdee workday once again. oooh i’m so baaad. i should sack myself for poor attendance…naah fuckit…i’m the best employee i got. tho i did venture out and drive two of me old tarts to the local pub for their arthritic knees up with the rest of the towns oldsters. so i didn’t completely slack off.

i feel like i have ‘lost my edge’ since foregoing the pot…have certainly lost my enthusiasm for stuff…not to mention the concentration…well that isn’t completely correct i mean i sat here last night into the wee hours fuck arsing around with this template eh. so i still can garner some concentration.

the good dick is picking me up a three kilo bag of the white powder today…ten bucks can’t beat the price uh. so maybe later on tonight i will be elbow deep in making more casts. contemplating making some replicas of my body bits to send over to the LFB…reckon a girl could get into some trouble with that stuff aye…

“and here’s a cast of my arse and it’s freckle…(_*_)…fer yer fondling pleasure”.

well dammit!!. i hate that. always makes me bloody jump…we have these stoopid birds over here called peewees, they are like the retards of the bird world…i have lost count of the many times they fly full tilt into my lounge room window…the first couple of times it happened i thought some bastid was spudding my flat. i’d go to the front door…look out with a scowl…no-one would be giggling. so then i would lie in wait peering out thru the smallest gap in the blind with me blue eyed beadie trying to catch the spudding culprit. eventually i would give up and sit down then another thud would come. wasn’t til i started leaving the blind up more than i usually do, did i discover who was behind the window hits.

reminds me of the time when i was still living out of town in my lovely secluded home…was in the computer room. son was asleep and ex was still down in sydney. was pitch black outside when suddenly the loudest thump on my window happened, rattled that big sucker bigtime. well i just about shit myself and froze not wanting to look out at whatever caused it…[i mean you hear of isolated houses and their occupants being targeted by the knife wielding, hockey masked criminally insane every now and again] within a minute or so me bravery [lol] kicked in…i gingerly looked out…no-one to be seen.

got up closer to the window put my face up against it…hands cupped around to shut out the rooms light…*scanning left…scanning right*…nothing. hmmm *look down* and there sat this big bloody owl looking back up at me with the expression of “what the FUCK just happened then”. it must have given itself a good whack as it sat there for a good ten minutes trying to shake off the collisions effect.

stoopid owl…was gunna venture out there and kick it’s feathered arse along the length of the veranda for scaring the absolute crap out of me. but then i thought hell it might have been slammed at the window by the knife wielding dude.

*rolls eyes*

** well YaaY got the comment thingo visible again…and scottage just in case you drop by again thank you for your suggestion but all that did was underline my “recent blurts” but hey thank you all the same…had to put it here because your comment section goes to an error all the time

well stuff it…

have spent the last stinking hour and more trying to make my “post a comment” bloody well visible.

fucked if i know what i have done or need to do…*screaaaam*

so at the moment you need to hover over that section to see it and use it…*screeches more*

but ooer…look at me NOW mah…i looves this one…think i’m done with the changes…well EXCEPT fer that stinking comment problem.

*sigh*…i need to git to bed.

**well fuck a duck…now it’s THERE again.

*struts out like i’m someone*…

someone who has been showered and shaved. well haphazardly shaved. the LFB would be horrified at how much hairier i let me legs get now. actually, even sometimes i’m horrified but obviously not enough to shave them more cleanly and more often aye.

yep there was once upon a time when they were done every day. tho i would give it a miss every few days when i was working at the club. got smart, see…the next managers uniform change we had i went with the tailored duds instead of the skirts. and twerent that a bloody lovely improvement…no more black stockings for the little spiky hairs to find their way thru and annoy the crap out of me. i’ve still got them suits somewhere. don’t ask me why.

somehow when i was scrubbing my face i took a slice out of my snout with a fingernail…bloody cut them the other day too. i am usually less dangerous to myself [and others] with shortened nails. damn thing is stinging slightly and of course a finger goes to it every now and again…guess i do that just to remind meself of what i’m capable of when left to me own showering devices.

which reminds me of this time not that bloody long ago [the LFB was still over here] when i was trimming strays and generally neatening up with a pair of scissors. and before i knew it i had somehow snipped a sliver outta me tip. fuck i near pee’d down my leg with the realisation and the pain of what i had just done. was like a paper cut. have been extra bloody careful with them scissors since. shew…even the remembering of it makes me wince. oh well, live and learn aye…especially in that area.

so i have decided that the oldies activity for tomorrow will be games…”yes, the game of lets see how long it takes them to irritate the crappers out of me”…naah talking bout board games…that way i can be out from under their little sunken black currant beadies while i glue on the magnets to their plaster of paree stuff. which for the main part they painted up quite garishly gloriously. gawd love ‘em. but hell what do i care how they painted them, kept them occupied huh. plus now i get to arm meself with a hot glue gun and just let them try my patience for anything. ha! back the hell away from me, old girls

so now its nearly half past three in the arvo and i have managed to not be siren-songed by that bloody lounge for a nap *must resist…must resist* okay, shouldna mentioned it, as now i keep looking at it…lovingly.

mmm hmmm…

If that bloody dog does NOT stop its periodic high pitched bark. I will be forced to go out there, find where it lives and then bitchslap it one.

I guess I don’t do real well on no sleep huh.

So. Here it is nearly eight am. With the whole day ahead of me. Wonder what I will do with it. Really should do some cleaning up around here…*looks around*…meh. Maybe.

I am half expecting a visit from my mother and her sister. Bloody hope not. Might make a phone call later to head them off. That’s if I can get thru…my father being the internet whore that he is will have the phone line all tied up until at least eleven am. Hmmm so that’s where I got it from.

So, I tried that blog mad thingo…it became kinda annoying to view the same blog four times in the one short session…funny that it was a christian spouting blog…wonder if ’someone’ was trying to tell me something. Bloody hard to type with your elbows because yer fingers are attempting to gouge out yer eyes.

Anyway, as I can still see. I was unsuccessful.

Yesterday afternoon I had to stop my nose from sliding off my face and perching on the brick wall overlooking the neighbours yard. They had a barbie happening…frig it smelled good…ouff fried onions…gets the drool happening every time. I miss not having a barbie tea…it’s not like I don’t actually OWN a bbq…but I like it when it comes with the inbuilt cook…preferably a little fat bastid of a one. Oh well, I was forced to satisfy myself with just snorting up the wafts.

If they dare to have another one tonight. I will have to kill them.

After they have cooked it…naturally.

okay just to clear…

something up here…*grin*…i don’t actually have a problem doing a poo sometimes i have a problem making it…as in having the motivation to eat full stop. you would think i would be a skinny little minx huh. some days i have to stop and think if i have eaten at all and then force myself to consume something because i then start to feel sickly and shaky. dunno why this is as i loove me food, guess some days i just get bored with it.

but a big thank you for your remedies…will keep them in mind if i ever have a problem in the poop chute department. tho speaking of craps…one of my oldies had to go to the hospital hadn’t done one for four days and was in a bit of strife over it and they had to “dig it out” as mardge so happily put it…just sounds so undignified don’t it. can’t help but picture the doctor or nurse with a little shovel and bucket in hand digging away in that orifice.

the LFB and i had this saying when eating something that we’d cooked that didn’t turn out as nice as it was supposed to…”oh well, it’ll make a turd”…so basically that’s my philosophy as long as it makes a turd eh.

so here it is saturday once again…and what do i have planned for my weekend…bugger all really much like the past fifty or so of them. i tried to get into gamesville last night to play frantic fish…yes i know i live on the edge don’t i…stinking frigging fish game STILL i can’t get that game to load up properly…i did all their freaking recommendations and all…i could hear the fish dropping but could not participate in it…very fuck-king annoying. so after an hour and a half i had to step awaaay from the fishgame before i completely got pissed about it. but dammit just when i need some mindless patheticness [welll more of it] i can’t have it…*narrowed eyes*

i was alternately awoken this morning by the fellow flat dwellers bringing in their wheelie bins this morning…it’s a very distinctive noise that. then thirty minutes later it was the neighbour in the house next door’s turn, he started banging on something [and it tweren't the wife] in his shed. so i decided to just get up. fuck ‘em. mind you, at half past ten i guess it was time to arise from my sweet slumber.

so i guess i am off to check out what youse all have been up to…well, as soon as i get another coffee and perhaps after i participate in a poo.

well good on me…

i actually made it into work today…the past few weeks i have been ditching most of the wednesday’s and i really need to stop doing that.

had an okay day, got a bit done. had a nice surprise visitor namely one of the head honcho’s of the senior citizens committee asking me if on the fourth of april i would cancel my tuesday daycare program so that their members who are made up of most of my clients can attend one of their functions. of course i leapt across the desk planting a big smooch on her with a hell yes then laughed like a loon. as it happens anzac day [which is a public holiday] falls on a tuesday at the end of april so that daycare day will be cancelled also…april is gunna be a sweeter month….yeehaar.

i’m back in my eating just to make a turd routine. haven’t felt like “cooking” a meal so i’ve had a sandwich the last three nights for tea. will have to make an effort tomorrow night as my son is staying. hmmm what to cook…what to cook. perhaps spaghetti bowl. ack dunno.

appears i am once again back in the world of blaah…where nothing is of much interest.

since i have had to give up the lovely dope i believe i will have to take up the bottle to help dumb and numb the slowly passing hours. fuck i have at least six more months of this…well according to the lawyer that’s how long it may take…could be more depending on immigrations decision. dunno what we will do if they knock me back…guess divorce. no use being married if we can’t be together huh.

anyway that’s not improving me mood here none.

so what to do now.

aww poor johnno has been to court…got eighteen months good behaviour bond and a five hundred dollar fine. apparently it has come out in the wash that it WAS his dirty fucking grub of a neighbour that dobbed him in for his plants. what a low-life prick act…supposedly he thought by dobbing john into the cops, his own appearance before the courts [dunno what for, probably thieving] would be lesser. what a fucked up act. i’d kick his arse with a lump of wood if i was john…but that’s not in johns nature. he’ll just whine about it all…endlessly.

i haven’t been around there since our new years eve washout…hmmm am i holding a grudge…i dunno if i am really. but it did relieve me of the feeling of having to visit…so maybe subconsciously i am. or maybe it just relieved me of acting how i believe a friend should act. i dunno and at this stage i don’t really care too much about it. some days i think i should make an effort then i think meh, i just don’t feel like it.

fuck i wish i could get off my face.

at least i had some enthusiasm when sucking on a cone.

oh well…tomorrow’s another day aye.

well okay…

while i am cooking a poo…you know, when you feel the need to go but it’s not quite ready yet. anyway, i decided to tell you all about my wonderful happy-chappy tuesday at work. ha! like it was that.

arrive around eight fifteen am…

…start getting their craft table ready, lay the paint cloth, paints, paintbrushes, water, paper towels. spread out my luverly pristine collection of plaster of paree pieces down along the table centre for their choosing…ever mindful to place the one colour only pieces within easy reach of the one colour only artistes.

…talk to a drop-in client regarding her trip next tuesday. look and make the appropriate noises at her new great grandchild photo’s. the photo’s she specifically bought up for ME to look at. thankfully there was only twelve of them with an appropriate amount of time spent on each…sigh why do people like me.

…set their morning tea table, adding another smaller table, then squeezing in some more chairs, whilst setting up the tea and coffee station in one of the kitchens….realises that i left their tea n coffee cards [how they all have it] at home near the computer…*knows* that i will have to retrieve them.

…deal with the old italian with pig like qualities…who funnily enough is no longer such a pig towards me after i was somewhat blunt with him last week…he actually smiled [huh wtf A smile] and thanked me today. funny that.

…in between answering the nine…NINE…phone calls i received in the first frigging forty-five minutes. i felt like screaming into the mouthpiece whenever it rang…”fer the love of gawd it’s fucking tuesday, you KNOW it’s daycare today and i run around with my arse hanging out trying to get it all ready before i have to pick up some of me oldies”…well maybe they don’t know about the arse hanging out part.

…arrange the newest transports and return the calls [if i don’t do it ‘soon as’ i’d have more than nine phone calls] that came in over the weekend and the days i don’t work…i haate hearing that bleep, bleep, bleep of the messages left. i do wish i could sometimes fast-forward their speech patterns and brain waves…”uhmmm err now when was it…ahh maaavis what day do i have to go to…”

…deal with the fucked up little gnome of a handyman who dropped in at nine-twenty. who has been keeping the money paid to him by the clients instead of turning it into me LIKE i told him to do. so now he has to repay me the two-hundred and forty odd dollars for the work he has done. ha ha.

…hear one of the volunteer drivers in the kitchen talking to my mother the cook. he has come up to return his transport sheets from fridays trip. knowing i will have to spend a precious ten or so minutes talking to him [lovely man but talk about mister have-a-chat] i remember to ‘book’ him for this fridays trip.

…leave at nine-fifty to go and pick up three of my oldies. the last one i had to go in and get out of her house…she was inside ringing me to see where i was…i was two minutes later than normal.

*ding* poo is ready to be delivered!…………………….ahhh. okay where was i in the bitching department…

ack! blaah…i’m done.

so seventy one plaster casts later…

not counting the rejects. i am done with me mouldie oldies activity for tomorrow…soo YaaaY meee…and i will say if any i say ANY of them show the merest hint of turning up a nostril at doing them i will shove said figurine up that nostril. i catered to their various artistic abilities with a paintbrush by doing some with detail and others they can just slap on the ole paint willy nilly.

and now for yer viewing pleasure [lol] a scanned image of the variety…

will have to score some more of the stuff…once i got the mixture down pat i was fairly rocking them out all the while expanding on future ideas for their craft days incorporating the plaster of paris.

oh dear i feel that i have become slightly addicted to it…wish i had some more of the white powder…went thru two bags of it and i was sure i had bought a third bag, but turning my bedroom upside down has not uncovered it…hmmm could be up at the centre but when i went up there yesterday to retrieve the second bag i didn’t spy it in my quick look around. now i will want to go shopping one day this week so as the store that i got it from will be open.

frig…hope i have enough of them to keep them occupied…

mugshots are done…

ready to be posted off to the lawyer…she had to do it a few times as the first one i had one green eye and one red one…i did ask that she print that one just to spin the immigration wankers out…funny that my eye colour in photos is more a green when they are actually blue. with instructions not to smile, little did she know that ain’t hard for me to do in photos…fucking hate having photos done…then she told me to stop snarling…*rolls eyes*…apparently yer not allowed to show teeth either. anyway they are DONE! so the LFB will be happy that i am making some progress. now all i am waiting on is my start and end dates from my club work for which i emailed my ex boss last night asking for. damn, hope she isn’t on holidays.

so shopping was pretty uneventful…my ex took me over [he's a good ex] but i did miss not going with my sister and i didn’t get my cheeseburger reward at the end of it. hmmm something is truly wrong with that. tho in replacement i did get a meat pie for tea so i guess that will do. i managed to pick the worst frigging trolley out…with a definite turn to the left i was constantly battling to keep it straight…no frigging wonder i come out with a sore lower back from trying to steer that fucker. i tried to swipe what looked like a decent trolley from a little old lady but i couldn’t prise her gnarly fingers from its death grip on it…so i gave her a good kick and off i went.

ran around to all the craft stores looking for plaster moulds for the oldies craft activity on tuesday…bought one for twelve freaking dollars but its a cute collection of bears…so hopefully they will turn out. got some of them setting now. and don’t it start to dry quick gunna stick magnets on the back after they have done the paintjob and they can whack them on their fridges. hmmm wonder if they would appreciate some death masks…naah probably not eh…no sense of humour these oldies.

it’s been cooler the past few days with splashes of rain, goes hand in hand with our autumn which started at the beginning of march…can you hear me say ahhhh from over there. as much as i like the sun i don’t flipping like it when it creates rivulets of sweat in me pits…not to mention what it does to me butt crack. ack.

i’m in a kinda weird mood…not happy, not sad, not mad, just…

geezus i’d love a cone right about now…*sigh*

if bored…

check out this or maybe this or ooer even this