somehow i knew…
April 1, 2006
that the heels clicking up the communal driveway did not belong to someone that i wanted to get out of my bed on a saturday morning at nine-ish to open the door for.
but i did.
get out of bed that is. then i crept out to the lounge room to spy two lower body halves [viewable by my barely up blind] dressed a tad too smartly for this wee hour. instantly i knew i was being blessed with a visit by the jesus jockeys.
now that’s just heaven on a stick.
i stood there motionless with the thought of opening the door if but just to breathe my morning breath all over them in big walloping gusts…”hiiiii, howwww are youuuu bothhhh thissss morniiiing”…punctuated by a leg lifting bottom burp and a long lazy scratch around the nether regions.
i heard something being folded then deposited under my screen door.
the heels receded further up the driveway towards the other flats…they must love coming across flats, units etc…the ratio of steps taken and knockable door opportunities. then the assault on my side door leading from the carport was next. persistent little bastids aren’t they. hmmm maybe they thought they could trick me.
as i watched their lower halves clicking back out i knew that they had no luck at the other three flats.
so here’s a tip to future jesus jockeys…wear non clicky heels…you might get that foot in my door. well not really “in” but it may be opened in error.
oh and under my screen door was a nice little pamphlet from the watch tower people…that’s the jehovies innit?…with a section on the back for further information or a free home bible study please write to…blah blah. so now i am thinking of helping those here in town that could do with a bit of religion up them and writing off for more info to be sent to their home addresses.
*sigh* i do such good work…now i am off to polish me halo.
April 1, 2006 at 12:05 pm
Woohoo! Jo-Ho spam. Lucky you
April 1, 2006 at 1:01 pm
ahhh, i would not have missed an opportunity to fuck with them..I would have been buck naked and answered the door and said come on in we need a 4th for strip poker.
ahh, but that will never happen here in west…we have a strict no peddler law….damn..ruin my fun
April 1, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Oh… it’s the same asshole that commented on my blog. Ignore him. If you leave him a nasty comment, he just deletes them.
April 1, 2006 at 3:12 pm
I left Galaxy a comment for you….
“Quit tryiing to suck up to my friends. They don’t like you. What are you doing spending 5 hours yesterday on my blog and another few hours today? Copying all the addresses of my friends so you can try to get them to come to your lame boring blog?”
April 1, 2006 at 3:21 pm
That’s just because he was getting no comments before. And then Clance’ went off on him big time and then the apology.
His main goal is to get traffic to his site. Don’t fall for his game.
April 1, 2006 at 3:53 pm
And LMAO at Jackiesue’s comment!!!
April 1, 2006 at 9:35 pm
WTF? Galaxy commented kindly on mine. Bloody hell my head is in utter confusion here. Wait…no i made a mistake, that was someone called stargazer. Bloody hell. Anyway, off this everlasting fiasco, this was pretty sadistic! LOL!
April 1, 2006 at 11:56 pm
Jesus Freaks out in the streets, Elton John song. I pretend not to be home when they knock at my door but I like the idea of sending them somewhere else. Good Job!
April 2, 2006 at 12:51 am
Eh, ya gotta admire their persistence, donya?
April 2, 2006 at 2:11 am
I hate finding that crap on my door! Makes me want to hunt them down and offer them to Satan as a sacrifice. hehehehe
April 2, 2006 at 8:20 am
All my life I’ve wanted to know who teaches persistance to these people: Telemarketers and the Religeous Peddlers, ie Mormons, &-Day Adventists and Johova Witness. There musdt be a class around somewhere that makes these people impervious to insults and being cussed at. I like to think I have quite an extensive array of cuss words. Might as well cuss at the wall…:D
April 2, 2006 at 2:13 pm
Hey, your comment made me laugh! Maybe my STFU syndrome is going away!
April 2, 2006 at 3:16 pm
I fricken love Badger Badger Badger. Just thought I’d mention that since I looked over at your sidebar and got a bit too excited.
April 2, 2006 at 9:08 pm
Someone else pissed me off again!!! Hard to believe, I know. I did a post about this lovely Christian.
April 2, 2006 at 10:59 pm
Your comment was great!!! Hope she can get forgiveness on the day of her savior. 40 days on the balcony of death. Wait… that’s my balcony. I don’t want to put up with anyone on my balcony for that long. How about the desert for her? I’m sure jesus will help her, if only she had a pay pal button.
April 3, 2006 at 2:18 am
i’m waiting for the jehovies to do battle with the evil lord xenu.
i wonder if a jehovy has ever been hooked up to an e-meter?
April 3, 2006 at 5:06 am
Thanks, I didn’t know it was messing up.I might know what it is.
I was thinking about a line of footwear for the witnesses. Sandals made out of tennis shoe materials, I would call them “Jesus Sneekers”!!!
April 3, 2006 at 5:21 am
I once told them, “I’m sorry, I’m just not in the market for a new religion today” and slammed the door shut. Grrrrr….Thankfully they have never been a problem since we lived down here.
April 3, 2006 at 5:49 pm
On the rare occation the JWs show up at my door I just stand in the livingroom window with my arms folded, shaking my head slowly from side to side. They seem to leave quicker than if I hide.–>