don’t tell anyone…
March 17, 2006
but sometimes when i’m in bed i will lift my bedcovers to smell me own bottom burps…especially when i believe it’s gunna have an exceptional bouquet to it. last night was one of those nights…talk about being ripe. shew. the LFB would have been sooo disgusted with those successes. mind you i would have tried to “sneak” them out if he was here…[he has no appreciation whatsoever for female farts]…but without him i can just let ‘em rip, reverberating in their full glory wherever i be in me flats confines. farts are funny. and i will say nothing gives more relief than expelling that gas that builds sometimes painfully in the belly.
i would like to add before you all think i am completely uncouth…i believe bottom burps should be kept to oneself, family and sometimes close personal friends…if they are of the same view. wellll, at least until i’m sixty then all youse people are gunna get to hear, smell and ‘taste’ my efforts…”ahaahaa!! choke on that you innocent passer-by”.
well it’s shopping day tomorrow…and we are supposedly leaving around *shriek* seven am. what the fuck! seven am…whhhhyyy????…there’s a surprise lunchtime birthdee barbie for my older brother out at the oldies place…and more shock and horror i reckon i will attend. yes, yes i know, they will no doubt be as surprised as me if when i turn up…*grin*
so i have been having a like/dislike relationship with the blog traffic site blog mad…well not so much the site as such but with how it works…just the other night i put my blog up then decided to remove it [yet again] all in the space of forty-five minutes…“arghhh fer buggerys sake make up my mind won’t i”…think i’ll jest continue as a member so as to read the other blogs that flow thru it…but remain in me smaller safer splash pool…at least for the time being.
aww crap!…i will have to venture out up to the shop later. i know i won’t be able to eke out my milk until tomorrow…and we certainly don’t want to be a strung out coffee-less fiend at midnight tonight, do we. nopers we don’t. frig! i knew i should have grabbed a litre the other day on my way home from work. was gunna but i got the shits looking at the boyfriend of the shop owners daughter just sitting there reading and stuffing his fucked up face features with food while i waited and waaaited some more at the checkout…
now i realise he probably wasn’t ‘able’ to work the cash register…but i hate being completely ignored for three ticking minutes. a “she won’t be long” would have calmed my slowly seething burn…[huh i CAN be a pissy britches aye...heehee]…so i walked out muttering unchristian comments and took my money to the other local shop where naturally i forgot the milk among my purchases. maybe i was still too busy muttering about fucktards in my head…and NOW i pay the price for it…*cackle*…oh well aye, spose it will get me out for the day.
anyway, off to see if zee old blogger has sped up any in the viewing of your blogs.
**wtf is up with trying to post…keep getting a stinking error. continually. bastids!
***well bugger me…it finally worked…funny that the “posted” time was like about five hours ago…but it’s only just worked now. oh well now we are off and away. YaaY
March 17, 2006 at 10:02 pm
ahhh family farts…our family has always been demented about farting..the boys would fart on each others heads, we would have drive by farting where you would walk into the room, farting as you walk..never stopping ..only to grin like a maniac and leave…my oldest son and i used to work a cleaning crew for a 3 storied methodist church and he would be in the basement and would get on the elevator, fart, and then send the elevator up to us on first floor, we would get on just about the time it was full strength…i would yell down the elevator shaft..you little asshole…good thing the building was empty…
March 17, 2006 at 10:04 pm
AWwww! Thats mingin! Posi. I like to think more demurely of the female form, surely you don’t really fart? I can smell them from here thousands of miles away.
March 17, 2006 at 10:55 pm
Funny, I’ve never liked the “nomenclature” of far_; it just sounds almost dirty to me… we refined southerners call them “uh ohs.” Dang, I just shared a family secret… when we talk about uh-ohs now, some of yall will know what we mean!
Regarding forgetting the milk… ain’t that just the pits. I sometimes go to the store for one particular item, buy 5 things I don’t really need, and walk out without the item I intended to buy in the first place! Aging ain’t purty….
March 18, 2006 at 12:03 am
Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
Have a pint on me…hehehe.
March 18, 2006 at 1:10 am
Heheheh this post tickled my funny bone right to the freakin core!!!
I find farts to be the FUNNIEST thing us humans can produce. While yes it’s best to be kept at home, but on occasion it is nice to leave a stinky while in an aisle at the store then nonchalantly walk away…LOL!!!
My father always told me I was a smart feller, but turns out that I’m only a fart smeller..haha and no im not a feller by any means!
March 18, 2006 at 1:51 am
When I worked in an electrical store years back, during quieter moments, my co-worker, Bill, used to fart in all the fridges and then shut the doors. Cos there’s an air-tight seal round a fridge door, they stayed there until an unsuspecting customer would come in, open the door of a fridge and shove their heads in to inspect the fridge closer. We used to laugh ourselves stupid from behind the counter watching the expressions on their faces.
We made our own entertainment in them days. *grin*
March 18, 2006 at 3:13 am
i think it was robbie burns that said:
“where evey ye may be, let the wind blow free!”
March 18, 2006 at 10:01 am
Ahhh… more interesting tidbits about you apos!!
Yes, blogger sucked last night or maybe am for you.
Never take a job as a telemarketer unless you like rejection and people being rude to you all the time. Or blowing whistles in you ears.
The damn squirrel has now been locked out and is hanging out on the roof. He’s driving my cats crazy by looking over the edge into the bedroom window. I think he’s trying to figure out how to get in that way.
March 18, 2006 at 12:43 pm
I used to work in a 30 floor office building on the 14th floor. If I was alone in the elevator, I would leave my calling card just as I got off. I’m sure I ruined a few people’s appetites along the way.
I’m terrible, I know. . .
At home, I just blame it on CC. . . He blames his on me. . . (that cat can fart!!! EEWW!!)
Hope the barbie with bro went well. . .
HUGGSS!!
March 18, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Yeah things have been running awfully slow here, reminds me of That Place We Don’t Mention Around Here. I hope they fix it soon. When it crashed last week I had a whole post w/picture just ready to publish and it went into thin air…Never mind the farts, better out than in I say…There’s something funny about guys. Have you ever noticed that when they fart they act all proud of themselves and expect you to go along with them? Then if you fart they get all bent out of shape… The I hate the people who do the “silent but deadly” farts and walk away, so you are left taking the blame,hehehe….hugz, Linda
March 18, 2006 at 3:31 pm
So THAT’S what I smelled! Damn!
I think Blog Mad sucks! I see the same crappy blogs over and over….the exact blogs I filtered OUT in my surf options. I don’t want to read political or tech blogs! Screw it.
March 18, 2006 at 6:42 pm
Bottom burps?? blech!!!!!
March 21, 2006 at 5:09 am
I can’t get past the first line! You are too crazy! Love ya…and thank you for the really nice comment you left on my blog. I’m not worthy.