well this day fourteen years ago…

taah daaah i had done this…isn’t a ponytail of hair wunderful to hide beneath )

in the last few weeks leading up to his birth i was “babysat” by two of my best girlfriends as his dad was off working five or so hours away during the week…

this is my best mate proving he can do the nappy thing…

nanny used to call in every afternoon after work to give him his bath [until we moved away because of his dad's work two weeks later]…

naturally he had a love of frogs too…

perfecting his talk to the hand pose getting ready for his first birthday [we had moved back by then]…

okay giveus the cake…

…hmmm date is preset wrongly…his dad musta done that…lol

holding his cousin…

as ring-bearer at my blonde girlfriends wedding…

best buds with my dark haired girlfriend’s son…

you know what i find funny…

when people continually contradict themselves. i guess they are too busy pretending their shit don’t stink. trying to make out that they are something other than a jumped up little punk bitch. funny that moi can live and let live and yet someone who continually expounds on just how great they are can’t…now don’t get me wrong i’m sure they are special to many people…i’m just not one of those people…never was, never will be…

i used to know this girl who’s catchcry was “ring me”…think it filled her with self importance to have people ringing her…fucked if i know why. sad. i guess in the computer age her catchcry would be “email me”…and what’s wrong with you ringing/emailing them you stupid twot!

ack. guess i’m still in a ripe old mood.

fuck…

fuck…fuck…FUCK!

don’t mind me…i’m just in a fucked off mood.

can you tell…do you care…yeaah me neither.

FUCK!

okay i thought…

this was pretty funny. heard on the news early this morning that the health minister tony abbott was punched in the head by a mental health patient…TWICE. a spokesperson for the facility said he believes that the patient did NOT know who the health minister tony abbott was.

uh huh you wanna make a bet. compliments to the mental health dude.

i’m just pissy that the ‘visit’ wasn’t caught on film. can you imagine the shock that would have been on tony abbotts face…wonder if he uttered anything when the punches started flying…“fuck off yer crazy prick”…would have been an excellent sound bite captured. and another minister woulda bit the dust…alas they are always replaced eh.

anywaaay enough on that wanker and lets get back to moi.

i was making my son’s breakfast and school lunch this morning…when the phone rings…

huh…*looks at phone*

helloo?

hello is [insert female indian/paki lilting accent] muffle mumble blah available?

sorry who?

mumble muffle blah blah…sounds like she is talking from within a bubble.

sorry, what number and the name that you are after?…i ask with an increasing puzzled monobrow happening.

she then rattles off my number but then the name slips thru unclear.

do you think you can speak louder…i can not hear you…nor understand who you are asking for.

is this better [as the mouth piece gets closer to her mouth] i am after muffle mumble blah blah

me starting to get a tad snippy…who are you and who is it that you want?

mumble whatever mumble…i want to speak with…here she starts fucking spelling the name but has lowered the mouth piece so i get a couple of letters namely a p t and an s.

well that just sent me over the edge…LOL…lookout!! i’m on tha edge baby.

look!! i have no idea who you are after…i can not understand you so do NOT EVER call this number again and what the HELL are you doing calling [looks at the clock] somebody at SEVEN-THIRTY in the morning…now bugger off!

now i know that when i ring any help-line that the chances are i am going to have to deal and decipher a NESB [non-english speaking background] person…but i’ll be fucked if i should have to deal with it on an incoming home call. fuckers.

geez…sometimes i am so not a morning person. oh well. meh. i’m all better now

in the news lately…

is that a spate of oldies have been carking it [unbeknownst] in their homes. think the count is up to five now…a husband and wife were found just yesterday…one old man was dead for over six months. his story kinda started this media attention. dunno if he was a grouchy old fella or just kept to himself. all his bills were paid via direct debits. lived in a high rise council assisted group of flats where people really leave each other alone.

okay, well that makes me feel better about living alone in a way…i like my privacy but i also like being grouchy in company…*giggle*…i’d be found pretty soon.

…where’s that bitching thing? haven‘t seen/heard her in a few days?…

still it’s a sad reflection on society but not really surprising, considering the areas…but it got me to thinking shit i would hate for one of my oldies to die and not be found…but the chances of this really happening is slim to none. as small country towns people are nosier. notice i didn’t say more caring…*grin*. plus my curmudgeonly ones [shouts...CRANKYFRANKY!!] i do the meal run to at least once a week…seen them all yesterday so i know they’re still breathing…

albeit some are breathing more heavily from their bottoms…but that comes from age i think…age is like a licence to fart and not feel like you have to blame the dog or more to the point not have the CARE to…

yeah i farted that’s what i do!

i want a teeshirt with that on it when i’m sixty

am i retarded or am i just overjoyed…

now have you ever sung along to a more perfect line. i ask thee?

speaking of the afflicted…was glancing at “wheel of fortune” the other day…well glancing at it til i noticed one of the contestants. he had this body tic happening…as well as facials. i didn’t think his choice of prize was a really well-thought out decision tho…he had the choice of ermm…well hell i forget what the first choice was…he chose the gardening package

of course i also thought…now, this is a prime example on how my brain works…

he’d be fun to watch using that power hedger.

i imagine his better half would have the ambo’s on quick dial.

i always like/admire topiarised gardens.

“haircuts anyone?”

hmmm off shopping in the am…

well helll…

guess what noises i made as i ran around opening up my newly screened windows.

verrrry bloody happy ones!!

was like a continual heeheeheehee drooled out thru my grinning parted lips.

see!! now really…it doesn’t take much to keep me happy. well happy fer a moment. but dammit happy all the same. and the flyscreen dude was pretty speedy so kudo’s to him…i loike that word kudo’s…he only chatted when he was going after the deed was done.

hmmm so it pays off to completely ignore tradesmen by being semi-comatose on the lounge.

*murmurs in a dull roar*…eye haaave flyscreeeens peeples!!!

okaay marG we can now raise the flag on this illustrious day

so ask me…

whose coming to my place in tha morning?…WHOooo???? i hear youse chorus…the freaken FLYSCREEN dude is comiiing…*i screaaam with joy…quietly*…so now i won’t have to resort to the ole five finger discounting trick. dammit was looking forward to practicing my pilfering and pillage knack.

well that’s what the teacher told me last night when she knocked upon my door. it’s funny she seems really nice but i kinda feel funky when i talk to her…the conversations that we have. it’s like she is waiting for me to talk to her more…sometimes i have to mentally reach to continue the chat without letting the voice in my head bust out…the one that says…“okay thank you…now could you go away…and be quicker about it!”

i think it’s because…
a) she bores me…well ‘bores’ is harsh and not quite the correct feeling or word
b) we have not a great deal in common
c) i just couldn’t be bothered to get to know her
d) its probably a bit of all of the above.

anyway, found out why she is leaving…hell if i have to make an effort at small talk i’m finding out stuff…*grin*. she got engaged…nice engagement ring…would go well with my wedding ring. she’s hoping to teach up in a school in her hometown…primary preferably beings as the secondary students would be a tad uhmm rougher and meaner to teach…“aw c’mon yer pussy teach the smart-arse kids…lol”…heard tonight from my pub/clubbing friends the talk around town is that she is pregnant…cripes it don’t take long for the raised eyebrow rumour mill to get working huh…makes me laugh…hell, good bloody luck to her and him if they are with a ‘wee child’.

now back to the fly screen man…yessss tomorrow…look at moi aye. won’t know meself being able to sleep with a bloody window open…even if it IS a pissy little window…that’s a gripe i have about this flat…the bedroom windows are not large like the other windows. strange. also will be getting a security screened door at the back here near the sliding door where i sit endlessly [waiting] at this computer…goodo…will be able to leave the glass door open all night then…even when i’m sleeping. which in turn will help air out this non-smoking flat…the same flat that i do indeed smoke in…see!! still no one should rent to the loikes of me…but in my defence [lol] i only really smoke here whilst at the computer…wellll okay, once every blue moon while watching the tele. oh well tough titties eh…[quick!...who is famous for saying that...worth five points...*hint wore a lot of orange]

i sure hope the flyscreen dude gets me over and done with in the morrow’s am…or at least get the security door done…won’t be able to play on the computer with him ‘working’ near my shoulder…and buggerit, if i remember rightly he is a bit of a mr-have-a-fucken-chat…*screws up nose*…i must remember to resist the hospitable offer of a cup of bloody coffee…he doesn’t seem the type that can do two things at once.

but nevermind, i have a plan…i’m *thinken* if he’s taking too long i will get on regardless and start typing about how pissed off and unstable i feel…whilst googling sharp implements…stabbing out the letters on the keyboard…or hmmm perhaps i will let him ’see’ some of my blog buddies posts…BUT if he starts reading over my shoulder i’ll know that was a bad plan. so maybe i better have another backup plan eh. hmmm.

heyyy i got my hair cut today…i am feeling largely light headed. altho old shirley the town hairdresser does scare me with the scissors…she just seems to keep on cutting and cutting…and i swear when she showed me the new length at the back with the salon’s mirror it seemed heaps longer than it was, unlike when i got home…hmmm maybe she uses one of them trick mirrors that elongate things…sneaaky cow. but seriously when she was cutting my fringe she had me turned in the chair so i couldn’t really see what she was doing…all i could see/feel was this hand continuously cutting and more and more hair falling…with the hand getting further up and away from my eyebrows…i know i didn’t have THAT much of a fringe to cut…tried to turn my head to the right to catch a glimpse in the mirror without her noticing. think that’s why my fringe was longer in one spot…*cackle*…nevermind trimmed that up. hell can’t beat thirteen bucks fer a [cough] ladies haircut.

thank bugger hair grows quickly…heh heh my legs can test-ta-fy to that fact.

speaking of legs i must use them to make a coffee.

just to reassure…

that i have actually been near a ‘holy man’ without either of us spontaneously combusting…

…albeit was nineteen years ago at my godson’s christening…HA!

[yes...been going thru old photo's...lol]

at last…

it’s raining. hope it stays for the next few days…but already it appears to be easing up.

well this week has marked a year since my husband returned to the states. i’d like to be able to say that it’s been a year of growth but that would be lying it’s been a year of stagnancy…waiting…endless day in, day out waiting. i try not to think about the possibility of up to another year of dreaming of how it will be once the wait is over. his lawyer appointment is on monday so at least the ball is closer to starting its roll and soon we will have a better idea of what is to be expected and what needs to be hurdled next.

i know the magic words of no medical required will dim some of the time drag…but i don’t expect to hear them. oh well.

well okay that was written yesterday then just as i was about to send it the power went out and i couldn’t be buggered getting it all back on.

had monstrous thunder storms last night…my son’s dog woulda been jumping out of his skin and trying to attach himself to my ex with each clap of thunder…

had some interesting news…the school teacher that resides in the flat opposite me has resigned from teaching therefore will be moving out thus leaving a flat vacant.

just heard on the news the us vice president just shot some dude while quail shooting…funny. sposed to be the other way around isn’t it?